Divorce is tough on everyone. Parents and children struggle with the transition from a single-family unit into separate lives, but there are a few tips and tricks to make the process easier for everyone.
One of the latest trends is “nesting,” where the children remain in the family home while parents alternate moving in and out, depending on the custody agreement. It seems like an interesting alternative to the traditional style where children move between homes, but is it realistic?
Keeping baby birds in the nest
Although the technique is not necessarily new, it’s gaining prevalence as more divorcing parents take this approach to co-parenting. Authors, like Laura Wasser, suggest keeping the routine of daily life as consistent as possible for children to help them process the divorce. That’s easier to do by keeping children in one home.
For some, this is an ideal, short-term solution while parents organize finances, agreements, and belongings. It also gives children a period of time to digest the new living arrangements and anticipate future plans. Despite the benefits, however, parents may find it difficult to continue long term.
Other parents may want to continue nesting after the divorce is finalized. This is rare, but it works with parents who live in close proximity to one another. It also relies on a comfortable relationship between the two spouses and clear guidelines from the beginning.
Every nest is different
Although nesting sounds perfect for children, in theory, it won’t be the answer for everyone. Most couples don’t feel comfortable enough around a former spouse to share a home with them. They might even find moving away helps them become better parents.
For some parents, nesting simply makes it difficult to move on. It might be hard at first for children to rotate homes, but kids are resilient and will adjust over time. Eventually, they will understand why divorce was necessary and how their childhood was better for it.
Nesting or not, divorced couples only need to keep in mind what is best for their children.